It’s hard
When you were something else
Someone else
But now this
Unchanging
Unable to go forward
Impossible to return
Four years in this state of mind
Two and half in corporeal
Wanting to move on
Only keeping yourself back
What you have in will
Is exactly what I lack
I can’t sleep again.
I started on the track of being lonely.
How do you move from one state of being into another?
Is there a way to do something else? To be something else? To change?
I want so much in the way of life, experiences and interaction yet i am resistant to any course of action.
Why can’t I allow myself to do those things that would take me where I want to be?
Is there really some part of me that is in opposition to being happy? Unwilling?
I have such a hard time dealing with things. Moving on. Struggling through.
Self-sabotage is my deadly friend. I wish we would sever ties.
I feel like I’m living in my head. The reality I face is hardly worth the words I would ascribe to it.
If only I could figure out a way to better make use of my time. I’m beginning to believe that I am spending too much of it alone in my mind.
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